Understanding Gottman through Infidelity Examples

Launch in a separate window

Infidelity is defined as an act of betrayal that occurs outside the couples’ agreed-upon rules of the relationship (Girard et al., 2020). Often times infidelity (or non-consensual extradyadic involvement) leads to major trust issues between those in the relationship and often results in couples having to examine the relationship and the next steps in that relationship.

Reasons for infidelity vary. Some partners indicate relationship problems that led them to seek out affection, company, or sex outside of the relationship. Research has found that attachment history and anxiety can play a role (Girard et al., 2020). Sometimes addictive behaviors can lead to acts of infidelity (Ford et al., 2012). Regardless of the background and challenges leading up to the infidelity, most partners are left with a trust break that can be emotional and overwhelming (Gottman & Gottman, 2013).

The Gottman approach is sometimes used in conjunction with other MFT theories. Gottman focuses on couple interactions and experiences of connection (2013). In a review of over 30 years of research where Gottman observed couples who stay together and those who separate, Gottman identified key couple behaviors that contribute to successful relationships. Thus, therapists coach couples on applying these behaviors, increasing connection and change interactions in their relationships. John and Judy Gottman lay out theories of approaching couples’ work that highlights reasons for relationship challenges and ways to re-build relationships. You will learn more about these theories and their approach within this section.

References

Ford, J. J., Durtschi, J. A., & Franklin, D. L. (2012). Structural therapy with a couple battling pornography addiction. American Journal of Family Therapy, 40(4), 336–348.

Girard, A., Connor, J. J., & Woolley, S. R. (2020). An exploration study of the role of infidelity typologies in predicting attachment anxiety and avoidance. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 46(1), 124-134.

Gottman, J., & Gottman, J. (2013) Toward the couples’ treatment of infidelity: A Gottman Method Therapy. Milton H. Erickson Foundation.

Weekly Resources and Assignments

Review the resources from the Course Resources link, located in the top navigation bar, to prepare for this week’s assignments. The resources may include textbook reading assignments, journal articles, websites, links to tools or software, videos, handouts, rubrics, etc.

• Week 5 – Assignment: Implement the Gottman Method while Exploring Couples’ Experiences with Infidelity

Assignment

Due May 12 at 11:59 PM

Assume you have been drafted to create a PowerPoint on non-consensual extradyadic involvement for a large MFT agency. This agency has seen a lot of cases where infidelity is the primary presenting problem. The clinicians have noted that a better understanding of infidelity would benefit their work. Additionally, some therapists have been pretty reactive to the topic and are working to recognize their own biases related to fidelity. You use the Gottman approach in much of your work and hope to add some Gottman ideas to your presentation as a way to benefit therapists.

Be sure your PowerPoint presentation includes:

1. A discussion on infidelity

a. Reasons behind infidelity

b. Challenges partners face after/during non-consensual extradyadic relationships.

2. A discussion on the Gottman Approach specific to infidelity.

a. How Gottman’s theories approach infidelity

b. Gottman tools or techniques that would benefit relationship therapists

3. A learning tool that would allow participants to consider their own biases or reactivity around infidelity.

Length: 10-15 slides, with speaker notes of 250-300 words per slide (if you include a transcript or written notes, it would be about 2-4 pages of “speaker notes”)

References: Include a minimum of 5 scholarly resources.